A man cannot function devoid of ego. Conversely his utility is hindered drastically in light of an unchecked ego. It is the dichotomy of the ego that must be held in stark balance, lest he be lost to the edge of obscure modesty or the opposing boundary of narcissism. Do not misconstrue, a mousey man is no better than a egomaniac. Both are equally unable to contribute to his tribe meaningfully. However pieces of both have their merits.
The mouse will stand for nothing. He will be impartial in times of necessity and at the worst sell out his fellow man to avoid dealing with his insecurities. While the narcissist may act, at times his actions even providing a contribution to the tribe, it would merely be a byproduct of his selfish need to validate he is right or better.
So where is the line? What is too much ego? What is not enough? How do we set proper boundaries?
The lack of ego will most often present itself in an individual as timidness, soft spoken, easily persuaded from ideals, and oftentimes the quick subservience to that Egotist. Whereas the egotist will be confrontational, unyielding and in narcissistic cases manipulative.
To effectively lead your tribe you must be capable of great ego, so that decisions can be made quickly and confidently, but have the humility to properly integrate your ego so that your tribe does not feel alienated from decision making and their input can be heard.
I am a firm believer in the Utilitarian Egotist method. It is a system of checks and balances for your ego. It allows a person to leverage the best parts of ego; confidence, decision making, accountability, and courage; while having a metric in place to ensure that the ego does not tip into the close-minded arena of the narcissist.
The utilitarian egotist always audits their decisions and interactions against the efficacy of the outcome. Ego serves absolutely no one when desired results cannot be achieved. The utilitarian ensures that his decisions, actions and outcomes can be measured.
The metric will humble your ego in the times the outcome trends poorly. When the utility and outcome is paramount then the ego can be disconnected allowing for open dialogue with the tribe. Your humility will be found in the same outcome that tempers your ego.
Conversely – ego is needed to lead. Without ego you cannot dream bigger, build better or lead effectively. Decisions will be difficult due to constant questioning and indecision. Committing to a forward path without ego is nearly impossible. As a leader one needs to have enough ego to know you can govern effectively but be humble enough to know you are not all knowing and all seeing.
This is the dichotomy of Ego. Enough to succeed, thrive and expand but tempered enough to take council, seek answers, and audit yourself against narcissism.
