My father once taught me, ‘it isn’t the action itself, but the principle of the matter”. It was a hard lesson learned, but once it stuck, I understood. If we don’t prioritize our principles all the time, especially in the little things, things that most people feel are inconsequential, then we won’t when it really matters. We won’t have the balls to have the conversation or even if we do have the conversation it won’t be received. In the little things, we set the precedence so that when big things arise, most people already know where they stand.
If you are watching the world as I have, it is becoming vividly apparent that the noble virtues that once guided men, such as strength, courage and honor are sorely missing. In today’s world ignoble concepts lay siege to the standards and concepts that were once hailed as stalwart and immovable. We watch as our fellow man, scheme and turn on their neighbors from a sycophantic hope that the masses will provide them with, that which they salvate for, a validating “atta’ boy”.
Having never been taught to stand on principle they have no standard of conduct to compare against. They see no issue with selling out a neighbor or compliance to absurd rules, as they do not see the ‘harm’ in it. This is where the danger lies. As the saying goes, “stand for something, or fall for anything.”
When we lack principles, we effectively become doormats. We have no baseline, no construct to retreat to when under attack. While passive and non-principled may avoid the majority of battles in our day to day. The detriment is in the war, not the battle. Over time we lose our bearing, with no heading or boundary, we will one day wake up and find ourselves feeling as though we are being taken advantage of, we are. In time, we will feel boxed in and in some cases literally and figuratively abused.
Principles are meant to guide our actions. Some are simple, but unyielding, such as “Do Not Murder” or “Do Not Lie”. Others are more nuanced, such as when to help someone or how we handle being disrespected. Either way without these guiding concepts we are effectively going on a trip without a map or destination. We will inevitably get lost.
I have a simple principle that guides most of my actions, “Do unto others, as you would have done unto you, until such time that they require a stern reminder of your principles.”
Simply put, it isn’t enough to treat people how we want to be treated. Sometimes, this is seen as passiveness or weakness. When this happens some people will try to take advantage of us, at that time it is equally important to course correct their actions and set the boundary in a way to ensure it is never crossed.
