Category Archives: Newsletters

“Most are so concerned with denying the existence of the wolf, they will walk straight into its jaws, disputing the warnings as lies, and then blame others for their misfortune.” – Unknown

One of the prevailing, and more dangerous, ideological practices within modern society is the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ approach to anything remotely resembling discomfort.

Danger doesn’t exist because they have yet to experience it.

Strength has no utility, because they have yet to need its function.

Violence is random, because they don’t understand escalation.

Truth of the matter is, like the universe, there is no obligation for things to be fair, make sense, or justified in order for them to exist.

Waiting until the moment arrives to know how to handle it, is the leading cause of anxiety and doubt.

Even in clinical psychology, there are countless anecdotes proving explicitly that avoidance is a multiplier of problems, not a solver.

The solution always prescribed is voluntary exposure to that which we fear or makes us uncomfortable.

So why have we taken avoidance as a society to all of our problems?

Why have we become obsessed with wrapping each other in bubble wrap, insulating ourselves from danger, instead of developing the tools to face them head on?

Part of it is justified, that feeling of being so inconsequential there isn’t any point. While it holds some merit, and I can see why many think this way, this is saying ‘I quit’ well before even attempting.

Most of the time it is just fear. Things are too horrible or scary to think about, so we just don’t. Much like trauma victims with dissociative disorders, we as a society have accepted that pretending it doesn’t matter, actually means it doesn’t matter. Which is far from a functional or practical position to hold. It always boils to the surface eventually.

I would also say that a good portion of the time, it is just too damn hard. Being uncomfortable, sitting with a problem, or worse, experiencing the evils in the world can feel insurmountable in the moment. Many feel if they ignore it, then it gets easier, but the reality is that it just exacerbates the issue, pushing it down the road, picking up speed and mass the longer you ignore it.

To weather the storms, you need to be skilled and hardened through experience. This cannot take place if you only sail through calmer waters.

If you are going through hell and you are avoiding it, do this right now:

1. Write down your problems, our demons cannot live on paper.

2. Identify which ones need to be solved first.

3. Take the top 3 items and focus on what you can do right now to solve it, and go do those things.

Stop making excuses.

Do the hard stuff now, so that it doesn’t get worse later.

STAY DANGEROUS.

“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.” – Thomas Paine

It has long since been my position that the responsibility of Freedom has always, and will always, fall to men.

Strong, unyielding men. Resolute in the conviction that it is upon their actions alone that Freedom shall forever sit stoically under their banner.

Warrior Scholars, positioned on the border of order and chaos, so that, should dark times come, they will rise and fall upon their shields. Alleviating their children and grandchildren the afflictions of shadows, and that they may be granted the blessing of freedom.

Freedom is not an entitlement, but it is a right. There is a difference.

There is no question that every Man, Woman and Child should be free, but that is not the same as saying their Freedom shall be granted to them.

Freedom is given by birth, but earned daily in our words and our actions.

Freedom is one of the most priceless and invaluable commodities in the entire world.

Yet, where there is good, evil shall seek to corrupt.

Where there is light, so too will the shadows sit as a consequence.

If you are unwilling to take responsibility for yourself, and your tribe, then you neither deserve freedom, nor peace.

The payment for freedom is high. Accountability, Responsibility, Vigilance, and Action – and yes in the last hour, when the wolves are at the proverbial gates, possibly blood.

I am grateful this 4th of July, to be writing on this topic, a Free Man. Healthy and happy to be able to sit quietly, while writing from a miraculous piece of technology, granting me the sight of sight.

I stand resolute against all enemies to Freedom, foreign and domestic, armed with the history of the world and the courage of those who have come before me. That my children and their children may bask in the glory of the American ideal of Freedom.

Happy 4th of July.

STAY DANGEROUS.

I have heard many versions of this ancestral knowledge. Some accredited to Native American, Egyption, and Mesopotamian cultures.

While I was unable to determine its exact and original origin, its profoundness holds true regardless:

“MY SON, THE BATTLE IS
BETWEEN TWO ‘WOLVES’ INSIDE US ALL.
ONE IS EVIL. IT IS ANGER,
ENVY, JEALOUSY, SORROW,
REGRET, GREED, ARROGANCE,
SELF-PITY, GUILT, RESENTMENT,
INFERIORITY, LIES, FALSE PRIDE,
SUPERIORITY, AND EGO.

THE OTHER IS GOOD.
IT IS JOY, PEACE LOVE, HOPE SERENITY,
HUMILITY, KINDNESS, BENEVOLENCE,
EMPATHY, GENEROSITY,
TRUTH, COMPASSION AND FAITH.”

THE BOY THOUGHT ABOUT
IT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN ASKED
HIS GRANDFATHER:

“WHICH WOLF WINS?…”

THE OLD MAN SIMPLY REPLIED,
“THE ONE THAT YOU FEED”

Yin and Yang, Happiness and Sorrow, Day and Night, Order and Chaos – the world is possessive of two sides.

I believe that is why humans have a bifurcated brain, split into hemispheric lobes so that we may make sense of the two sides of the world around us.

Many seek to remove all darkness from the world, or worse insulate themselves entirely, actively choosing to ignore it altogether.

Reality is, humans are capable of great and miraculous things, but they are also capable of terrible and unspeakable evils.

To deny this immutable truth, is to deny the reality of the natural world.

I have never met anyone that has turned their back to this truth, who hasn’t undergone considerable heart ache and torment.

Conversely, I have never met anyone accepting of this certainty that has not maintained an impeccable sense of self and ability to navigate the world.

Our lives are a series of choices.

It is rarely independent of our control and is always a culmination of every decision up to the moment.

You can always start feeding one wolf and stop feeding the other.

Once you accept that it is your responsibility, the sooner your life will become easier, happier, and healthier.

STAY DANGEROUS.

No so much the outward lies to others, though these also create fractures, the multifurcation truly comes from the moments we choose to lie to ourselves.

“I could do it if I wanted to…”, when we really can’t.

“That isn’t really THAT important…”, when it really is.

“I don’t mind…” when we very much do.

Moments when we elect the role of keeping the peace, fitting in, or ‘going with the flow’ at the expense of our true selves and/or our needs.

The more often we do this, the harder it becomes to choose ourselves.

In time, we may even lose sight of who we are and what we believe in.

This can become very dangerous, as this tends to be where most find cause for depression and suicidal thoughts.

Stop lying to yourself. Speak the truth.

Once you can tell yourself the truth, start living that truth.

Speak only the truth, at least to the best of your knowledge, with everyone that crosses your path.

The beauty of truth is peace.

The burden of a lie, is you now have to carry the weight of maintaining that lie with everyone. With each new person you meet, the burden grows.

Every lie is a new mask we have to pretend to be. Our priorities have to change. Our speech and our baseline alters.

Once you set yourself free from lies, truth is a much lighter burden to carry.

Efforts moving from one activity to the next become exponentially easier.

Truth isn’t without its hurdles, especially in the beginning as you break existing social contracts, but in the long run it is always worth it.

When engaging with others openly and honestly, they can intuitively sense your lightness. They too will wish to tell you everything.

Living in truth carries more return than I could ever write in a single article.

START BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF

Do it now. You dont have to wait for tomorrow, a Monday, or a New Year.

The beauty is that it can start with a single breath.

Stay Dangerous.

More often than not we as humans relegate everyone within our circle to Assets and Liabilities.

Assets are those that bring an equal, if not higher, level of value to the relationship. Value can be in the form of emotional, mental and/or physical support. For instance, the person you call when you are having a shitty day – is an emotional support system which is where they bring the most value. Or the buddy you call when you need to move or possibly getting in a fight, their physical prowess is the asset.

Liabilities are those that leave you feeling drained, exhausted and unfulfilled every time you are near them. Perhaps they complain constantly, but never adjust or learn. Or maybe they only call you when they selfishly need something, but never seem to contribute anything else.

Try as we might, with the exception of children, our ability to discern the assets and liabilities in our close proximity is our standard operating procedure. We are intrinsically cognizant of how each person plays a role in our lives – even though we often ignore it on the pretense of grace, empathy or sentimentality.

In recent years, this construct has been overshadowed by a departure from personal responsibility replaced by selfish ‘only God can judge me’ bumper sticker mentalities.

Ironically, those that refuse to accept that all relationships are reciprocal, are all too often the same group that experience the most mental anguish, such as depression, loneliness, feeling lost or resentment.

We are hardwired to add value. More mystically spoken, we call this finding our ‘Purpose’. The one thing that we can do to provide value to the tribe, above and beyond anyone else.

Are you an asset or a liability?

This is one of the most profound and useful questions for self reflection. It gives the foundation to make real shifts in behavior.

I am a liability, can I become an asset?

Absolutely! It takes asking the right questions, identifying what you bring to the table, and the willingness to give to your people without expectation. If you have the mindset to accept criticism, it is highly effective to ask your people what they need from you.

It will not be immediate, and takes commitment; however, it is always worth the work to become an asset.

Hold your own.

Learn new skills.

Add value.

Be there for your tribe.

Seek your purpose.

Stay Dangerous!

I have come across a lot of ego in my coaching and day to day life.

I myself, have had to check my ego from time to time. I have talked on ego before. It is a fine line to balance, as too much and you lose utility, too little and you fail to make hard decisions, or even act.

One of the biggest misconceptions of moving through the world is that results are accomplished wholly on our own.

This couldn’t be further from the truth, humans are communal creatures that are made and broken on the backs of their proverbial tribes.

The pervasive concept of ‘Lone Wolf’ is a farce built completely in a world that doesn’t exist. Alphas are only capable of performing as ‘alphas’ when measured against the collective.

We are not only compelled and shaped by the positive people in our lives, but the negative as well.

As babies, we needed a parental support structure to make it to 18 years old, breathing and healthy.

As teenagers, we needed friends and mentors in order to discern our place in the world and how to make sense of it all.

As adults, we look to our close tribes, mentors, coaches, and co-workers for our ongoing development.

Conversely – our rivals and malcontents that have crossed our paths teach how NOT to be. Give us prime example of the opposing virtue to what we wish our lives to become.

NEVER FORGET – without connection and community humans literally unravel mentally. Studies have shown that long term deprivation of contact literally alters our brain chemistry.

None of us have come to be who we are without all of the people in our lives, good, bad or neutral.

Stay Dangerous

Recently, it was brought to my attention that, as they put it, ‘You seem like the type to write a manifesto.’

I took this as a positive, but their position was this was a negative. 

‘What makes this a bad thing?’, I inquired in response. 

The slightly embarrassed rebuttal, ‘oh, I don’t know’.

Truth is that by definition, a manifesto is just a publicly declared set of values or priorities, most generally used in a political or social space.

Its moral use and implication is left up to the evoking individual; however, the current media have associated the construct and practice of the Manifesto with serial killers and extremists – singularly robbing anyone of good moral standing the capacity to announce their virtue and position.

While they tend to be attached to the negative types, it is not exclusive to the evil and socially ostracized.

The world would be a much more forthright and complete place if more people were comfortable uttering their values publicly.

Maintaining a manifesto does a few things: 

1. Creates intentionality around who we align ourselves with and the baseline to hold ourselves accountable. When organically developed, this can also lead to building alignment with a tribe of people holding congruent viewpoints.

2. When made public, the manifesto can be audited and criticized, which in turn allows for better development of our own personal journey and ethos.

3.  The manifesto is a tool of thought and conviction, used properly it can determine our ability to hold to our lines, plant our flags, and create courage in the face of overwhelming criticisms.

Most people, unknowingly hold some form of manifesto. Some as simple as the golden rule, “do unto others…”. Others as complex and timeless as Biblical 10 commandments.

Either way – I challenge everyone to determine their own manifestos and leverage the opportunity to truly know themselves on a deep and wholesome level.

Stay Dangerous

The notion of loyalty is vastly misconstrued. 

Depending on the culture, loyalty is often seen as fleeting and fickle, or broad and absolute.

Loyal to our Lords and Land, Queens and Country.

Loyal to our tribes or our friends.

Loyal to our significant others or family.

Loyalty is a multivariate equation, that, to ease the burden of thinking, we boil down to its simplest terms. Which can make good people stick through bad experiences unnecessarily.

Let’s first clarify the true simplicity of what loyalty is:

Loyalty is simply a system of hierarchical prioritization. 

By nature, loyalty is robust.

Every minute, situation, and new experience has the potential to tilt the loyalty one way or another. This is because our decisions are weighed against our priorities, and our loyalty to those outcomes are relative to the priorities we hold.

Family over Job.

Job over Friends.

Money over Peace.

and so on…

That isn’t to say loyalty is to be ignored, nor that its an ideal that I find superfluous. On the contrary, I believe Loyalty to be a virtue that should be held in the highest regard.

I do believe, however, that in order to see its full utility we must first understand and appreciate what it is.

Loyalty is a way of telling the people near us that we can be trusted, but in order to be trustworthy, and conversely trusting, we need to understand the motivations of loyalty.

It is system of self=preservation. We prioritize our loyalties based on what we get in return. Not just one person, all people. It is biological and sociologically hardwired.

This isn’t necessarily evident by the measure of some, because they have calibrated their ‘needs’ as simple as humanly possible, like a single kind word, and can go long periods without a return on their loyalty prioritization.

That being said, needs and wants are singularly possessive of the individual and vary wildly.

So let’s bring this to the concise point that plagues my mind when people ask me how they can find ‘Loyal’ relationships.

“How can you desire loyalty without, a. being able to define it, and b. exercising that definition upon yourself?”

A. What are you defining as loyalty?

– Is it always telling the truth?

what if you aren’t willing to listen to the truth.

Or perhaps, the truth is painful? 

– Is it being there for you when you need?

What about their needs and life?

Are they to be there at your beck and call? 

So, step one is defining what loyalty means to you and be ruthlessly honest about it, because it can be the difference between lifelong friendships and resentment.

B. Are you exercising the definition upon yourself? 

– If you require someone to listen to you, are you there for them? Do they know that what you require? How do they know?

– Do you tell yourself the truth? When you say you are going to do something for yourself do you follow through?

Step 2, which is by far the more difficult when it comes to loyalty, is making sure whatever expectation we maintain for others must be maintained intrinsically for ourselves. We must implement our definition of loyalty with our whole being. Taking care of ourselves, holding space for our loved ones, stepping up when needed, and communicating effectively internally and externally.

This is what makes loyalty so difficult. It isn’t the concept that pains us, but the difficulty of implementation.

Do the work, be intentional, and work on being your best and most loyal friend first.

Stay Dangerous.

So often we shy from that which we truly wish to know. 

Whether afraid of the answer, playing office or social politics, or in some cases behaving in a self-interested, manipulative way – we don’t say what we mean. 

I once had a buddy that caught his girlfriend in a lie. She said she was studying, but instead went to a party.

Insult to injury, he found out through a photo of her with some guy sent to him by someone else.

Now at this point, he had a choice: Confront it head on or play shadow games.

Unfortunately, impetuous in his youth he chose shadow games.

Printed the image out, and asked her to lie to him with the photo in his pocket, “How was studying last night?”

Regardless of the act, he sullied his dignity by reducing himself to petty antics to “catch her”.

This is trick of ego from all angles.

Need to be righteously petty.

Need to be right.

Need for validation of the catching of the act.

But in doing so robs us of the high ground.

We are now down in the mud with the liars, because we ourselves pretend to be unaware knowing full well, making manipulators of all parties involved.

Work on asking the questions you truly want the answer to.

Say what you truly mean, don’t beat around the bush.

Not everything needs to be wordsmithed in the name of other people’s emotions and perceptions, especially when a slight has been experienced.

I would recommend some tact and decorum, but still when it comes down to it, being forthright and honest should trump all.

Stay Dangerous.

Right and Wrong.

Truth and Lie. 

Good and Evil. 

None of it matters without the will and conviction to back it up.

It determines victors from victims, strong from weak.

The capacity to stand our ground against all odds are the stories which have writ legend upon stone since time immemorial. 

Developing Conviction is far from easy, especially when never having attempted it before; however, it is possible. 

It takes courage and intentionality.

First, spend time figuring out exactly who you are and what you stand for. What are your values and priorities?

Second, set the boundaries and consequences you are willing to endure to uphold those boundaries.

Third, practice daily in the arbitrary and mundane inflection points of life. Ordering coffee, saying ‘No’ to obligations out of guilt, etc.

Fourth, give yourself grace to miss the mark. Wisdom must be attained through life. No book, newsletter, podcast or mentor can give you wisdom. Stumbling and mistakes teach us far greater lessons than success.

Fifth, be flexible in your approach, but resolute in your goals.

In time, conviction – the power to uphold your will upon the waking world – will become absolute.

Stay Dangerous!