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When I was in my twenties, I was cocksure and foolhardy. I thought I was King of my realm, but the reality was I was 300 pounds, wildly sedentary and lacked the integrity to be king of anything. I have helped many in this same space. We surround ourselves with people that make us feel good, not push us to be good, let alone great.

I had a moment that forced me to fix it, as almost everyone inevitably does when running an unhealthy lifestyle. One of the biggest things that I found after I got physically fit was that developing strength has zero drawback. You feel better, your confidence increases, your immune system is strengthened, you find a community focused on bettering themselves, and it costs absolutely nothing to get started, just start.

“I will never be the strongest/fittest/biggest/healthiest, why even try?”

Enter any disqualifying term that makes sense to you, but these are bullshit statements born of fear. We use statements like this to make sure we never fail, because we aren’t failing we are actively choosing not to start, which is somehow in our minds, better. We lie to ourselves and say things like,”I could get fit if I wanted to.”

No, you couldn’t. If you could you would.

That’s a harsh reality for some to accept; however it isn’t meant to feel good. It is meant to get you to understand you are lying to yourself and to make a move. Everything in your life starts with health. If we feel better, stronger and healthier, by default, we have more energy, and more confidence. It is the foundation of everything we do.

If you are sad, tired, or just want more then I encourage you to stop lying to yourself and start building your body so that your mind and dreams can have a good foundation to build off of. It is all on you.

When setting a perimeter, or at least when I have discussed the practice with others, it has been accused of me that I merely wish to surround myself with people who think like me, an echo chamber if you will. That my quest is for the blind follower, the faithful zealot, or the naive child to nod and smile along with my ramblings. It has been inferred that I seek an egotistical validation from an adoring public. While I can understand where this misunderstanding stems from, it couldn’t be further from the truth.

I think the biggest misconception is that most believe if you agree on values, then you automatically agree on other sweeping ideals; however these are mutually exclusive and in most cases wildly nuanced concepts. One can be identical in their principles and values, while still experiencing a myriad of ways to disagree on the how, what, when, and why these values are to be adopted, instituted and disseminated. As a society, we have adopted a notion that we must be inclusive of any and all value systems, principles, and moralities. It has also been inferred that morality is ‘subjective’, I would make a point to disagree with this, but this is probably another article entirely. So for the record, let me explain in more depth the purpose of setting a perimeter and how to do so while inviting healthy mental conflict and expansion.

First and foremost before you may set a perimeter you must first determine where your principles lie. What hills are you willing to die on, so you can look yourself in the mirror with honor? Most I have talked to, aren’t willing to have this conversation with themselves, but it is the most imperative of all conversations. It sets the foundation for all other interactions. As the saying goes, “stand for something or fall for anything”. Are you based in courage? Does your core primarily focus on self-preservation? Do you know what you would do if these principles are attacked? Self-reflecting on these concepts sets the tone for who you surround yourself with, and conversely who you do NOT surround yourself with.

In order to properly set a perimeter, you do need to set some ground rules. Those you take council with must share similar values and priorities, otherwise you run the risk of being led from your path and put on someone else’s. For example, I wouldn’t take council from a mass murderer, we fundamentally do not align. Any guidance from that person would fall outside of my perimeter.

Now onto the separator of an echo chamber. Echo chambers occur when we understand our principles internally, determine the immovable moralities we believe in, but don’t take the next step – council. We ruminate with ourselves so long that it sounds good to us, but we haven’t applied any external pressure. Taken a step further, the internet is a cornucopia of echo chambers. With the right searches you can find any number of groups, chats, forums whose single mindedness can be harnessed to make you feel like the next einstein, reinforcing your chamber of agreement.

Once you believe that your principles are strong enough to move you with conviction, it must be tested. Take these principles/thoughts and discuss them with your closest circle, be selective. If you are concerned with a bruised ego or vulnerability, maybe start with the more placating in your tribe, but eventually the point is to take them to the skeptic. As Jordan Peterson says, you should be pursuing the growth of being wrong. Your goal is not to be right, if you have a principle that you are devout to, but it is evil or malignant, then perhaps it isn’t the best principle? Seeking council in others will insure it is properly challenged, it encourages objectivity. On the other hand, echo chambers are the death of objectivity.

Summarily determine what you believe in, challenge it with your council, seek the growth of being wrong, then adopt accordingly. It is okay to be devout to a system of values or morality, but always remember to be fluid in the practice and open to criticism. Without this there is no growth. Make sure the source of criticism is credible and applicable to your tribe. Never love the sound of your own voice so much you create an echo chamber for the monologue.

Recently, many conversations have been focused around fear. Whether in the form of doubts, social ramifications, or bodily injury, the same explanations have been recurring. “Yeah, but”, then insert an excuse. Courage is one of the foundational virtues of being a man, but in the absence of courage there is fear. Now, fear is a necessity. Without it we would have no reason to avoid danger, our bodies wouldn’t heighten to superhuman levels when at risk, and more than likely we would be easily killed or maimed as we would have no reason to be weary of real threats. So what is the line where fear is no longer an asset, and becomes a liability?

First, we need to understand the separation of real and perceived fear. In today’s ever connected world, fears have become localized that may not even affect us for ratings or politics. Statistics are used to navigate an agenda instead of provide facts. Real fear is immediate, you have only seconds or moments to decide what the outcome will be. It no longer lives in the realm of potential, but in the realm of happening. When real fear is present you will immediately get a dump of adrenaline into your body. When uninitiated the results can be wide ranging. From shaking, sweating and increased heart rate, all the way to petrification, fainting and/or urination. When initiated, the lower end of the side effects can be harnessed to run faster, see clearer, hear more, and provide superhuman strength.

Perceived Fear, on the other hand, is what most people allow to dictate their actions. It isn’t immediate. It isn’t even happening. An example would be fearing a mass shooting as if it occurred to you, because you heard about it on the news 6,000 miles away and cancelling plans to go out in public. It is a mental gymnastics perpetrated internally that can lead to the same outcome as real fear. When left unchecked a person can end up cowering in the corner of their mother’s basement fearing the wind. To one degree or another we all have to face some level of perceived fear, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, or fear of car accidents, muggings, or mass shootings. It has been said that the only true absence of fear is death; however we don’t have to let these perceived fears stop us from living fully, protecting our tribes, or being fulfilled.

Now that we understand real versus perceived fear, let us return to the question above, moving fear from liability to asset. Fear is a strong human emotion. As mentioned, it can lead to superhuman feats or crippling panic. The best way to cultivate fear asset mentality is to do things you are afraid of in controlled environments. For instance, if you are afraid of heights take up rock climbing with safety protocols. If you fear being kidnapped, take self defense classes. Generating confidence in an area you fear or creating a skillset meant to counterbalance you fears, is the fastest way to counteract fear as a liability and turn it in to an asset.

I was going to close the message out with the last passage, ‘do what you fear’; however, there is another less physical aspect of fear, especially in the sociopolitical space. This is fear of social repercussions, loss of job, loss of friendships, or loss of family ties. I understand this fear all to well, having spent 10 years locked in a proverbial box out of this fear. This is where setting your perimeter is absolutely critical. Often times, if we are honest with ourselves, the things we fear will be impacted do not align with our principles, or our concept of a fulfilling life. Once you set your perimeter, understanding who and what matters most in your world, you will be equipped with a filtration system. The setting of your perimeter will give you a compass to guide your actions. You will understand what matters to you and what doesn’t. Who matters to you and who doesn’t. With this knowledge the fear of being shunned, judged, or cast out will be more manageable as a result. It allows you to understand that those that would shun you are not within your perimeter, and by extension not worth the concern.

We have all read, heard and watched the many stories wherein the hero is asked to speak of truth above all else. He is moved to action when the truth becomes clear. When the evil becomes known and too much to ignore any longer. It is the courage that steadies his aim and the fire that warms him in the cold. Truth becomes his armor and his word becomes his currency.

Unfortunately, this is no longer part of our stories. Truth has become a dying virtue. This is the story where truth itself has become perverted and twisted, some even say evil. It has been devalued to the point that even in the light of glaring and indisputable resolve, people will shy from it, even denounce it. It’s gravitas has been lost through an unfair redefinition, one I never agreed to I might add. It no longer sits rooted in the earth, thriving from principle and morality, but instead floats, unobtainable, above the earth – cast to the winds with constructs such as “my truth”, or “I feel…”

There is no such thing as possessive truth, nor feelings of truth. It is not nuanced, nor subjective. It is not evil or good, Truth merely is. It’s existence is indelible. No matter what people do to try to poison and twist truth, the reality is, Truth is Truth.

When we believe that our existence, perspective, feelings or morals can change Truth, we are living a lie. It is in our need to twist the facts to suit our needs where truth shines the most. It will make us uncomfortable, squirm and sneer. When we know the truth and elect to poison it, the reality is that we are the ones to become poisoned, not the other way around. Ironically, our attempts to change or conceal Truth, will ensure that Truth is that much more glaringly apparent.

It is most often that Truth is hard to swallow or places us in a predicament or conflict. So because it is easier, we choose the path of least resistance. It has become increasingly frequent that when faced with an unpleasant truth or a convenient lie, we take the latter. As a result, most are unable to live with principle, because their principles are for sale. Truth has become subject to the whims and whines of the emotional prattle of others. How often have you been told, ‘this is my truth’ or ‘well I feel differently” when presenting logical data?

All of this is a direct result of how we use the word. Truth no longer sits divine. It is a widely argued concept that, if you ask most people, is subject to backgrounds, perspectives, and emotions. What they are describing is not Truth. It is not provable and it is not repeatable. What they are describing, I have heard called subjective truth, but I find this to be incredibly misleading. Truth has no part in that conversation. That is opinion, it is subjectivism, it is emotion. It is NOT truth, by any stretch of the imagination.

So how do we differentiate Truth from Opinion? First, truth is truth whether we like it or not. It has no obligation for you to agree or understand. Truth is not subjective to your upbringing, background, expertise, or feelings. Second, truth is provable through physical or mathematical evidence. Third, truth is repeatable. If presented with the same facts and details without knowing the outcome, the outcome will be the same nonetheless. The sun rises, the sun sets, and the world blossoms in the spring. These are truths and they happen whether you like it or not. Let your arguments leverage this metronome to find its footing.

Let us stop abusing and bastardizing the truth. Place it back on its mantle and honor it as should be honored. When you are debating or discussing, use the proper words and understand that if what you are discussing holds any bearing from your personal beliefs, then it is not truth it is perspective, or opinion. Call it as such. Let truth remain in high regard as immovable.

It is 3am Sunday morning, the day of Easter. I have been here many times before, sleepless yet exhausted, but this evening is a bit different, as it typically is for me around this time of year. My namesake day lands quite close to Easter every year and I always find myself contemplating the rising, the rebirth, and the Spring growth. Easter often triggers me to remember I have made it once more around the Sun, since my birthday soon follows and I begin the evaluation of my life up to that point.

Now, before I continue, I want to make it known that I am not here to speak of Easter in the religious sense, merely the spirit of the story it encapsulates. Rebirth. Thinking of Easter, growing up in the Catholic home of my Grandmother, I was told the story of Jesus’s rising. Later I was told a similar, yet slightly different, version in the Christian church. It has always been an important story in my mind and has played heavily into how my life has come to be. Though admittedly, I have always read into this story a bit more tactically than those around me. While everyone looks to it as the symbol of God or Jesus’s power, their sacrifice, their mysticism and/or our salvation. I have always seen it from a more pragmatic point of view, definitely more so than those around me. What is this story trying to convey?

If we examine this story, not to offend or discuss the merits of religion, but merely the objectivity of the lesson, so much of this story can guide us in and out of our winter seasons. The sacrifice and the rising is the quintessential underdog story. It is the core concept behind Man’s need to answer the two burning questions, ‘Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes?”.

Without Struggle, there is no sacrifice. Without sacrifice, there is no battle to win. With no battle to win, there can be no true reward. We are measured, not by how well we stand in the sun, but how well we weather the storms. A knight in shining armor, has never had his mettle tested, show me a man without strife and I will show you a man without perspective, and fall down 6 times, get up 7.

This is one of the greatest lessons of the rebirth of spring. No matter how dark the winter, how cold, or how desolate – the sun will rise again and life will return to previously barren soil. No matter how dark life gets, you can pull yourself back to the light. It is not always easy, but it is always possible. Which brings me to Life’s fickle paradox, time.

One thing we all agree on is that once we shed our mortal coil – we leave this plain, whether we go up, down, middle, or not, is the debate, but we all understand Death as the ‘End of our Time’. So what is the paradox? Those who have a lot don’t understand how precious it is. While those who have little, understand the value, but can do nothing about it.

I have found that there are 3 main approaches to our time on earth, and most, if not all, fall into one of these approaches.

The “white rabbit” approach, ‘I’m Late, I’m Late’. Named after the rabbit in a waist coat of Alice in Wonderland. Acutely aware of Time’s slipping sands, the mere thought of Life’s endless forward procession leads to anxiety and rushing. These people are never able to be in the moment, for they are already too aware that it has passed to even realize where it had gone. They are too worried about ‘running out’ of time to focus long enough to maintain their sovereignty. This can be dangerous territory here, easy to feel hopeless and out of control. Time is your master.

The “wave” approach, like the waves moving in and out with the tide, these individuals see time as occurring TO them. They are not actively participating in any single moment. They are merely passengers unaware that time is present in any shape or form. I have seen many people happy in this approach. They are free from time’s constructs, so they have little expectations moving from one moment to the next. It is not common that a moment would be emotionally charged to weigh a heavy burden on their heart. The caveat is when these individuals hit a moment in time and feel a burning call to action. When this happens they are made abruptly aware of times sway and often times come to the end of their life regretful for what they failed to accomplish.

Finally, the ‘Neo’ approach. Simultaneously aware of time, but actively involved in time. These individuals have learned that they can be willing captives of the ebbs and flows of time, but can also focus to bend time to their will. Seamlessly flowing between states, slowing a moment down when enjoying time with others or on a project, then later speeding a moment up that perhaps they are suffering through, like cardio, or a bad argument. For these individuals the negatives in time carry little weight, while the positives abound. They are no longer the passive captive of time’s waves, nor are they dependent on the thundering sound of passing grains of sand to keep their tempo. They have all the time in the world, not because it is infinite, but because they understand it is in fact finite. They make efficient use of each moment, so that when it does come to a close, they may go through their collection of moments. Then, peacefully and gracefully say, “Yea…that was a good time.”

As Heroes’ Veritas grows and its message reaches the eyes and ears of the masses, I have come across an interesting revelation that has surprised me. Honestly, it makes sense, but surprising nonetheless. The understanding of the ‘Warrior’ mindset has somehow been lost, or misinterpreted. What it is, why it is necessary, and how it is cultivated seems to be looked upon as an arbitrary and archaic concept. In reality, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Ironically, the people that actually resonate and adopt the warrior mindset the most, is primarily women. Women historically fill the needs as ‘homemakers’. This has become a word carrying a negative connotation; however ‘homemaker’ should be held with pride, as it is means one who creates homes, families and tribes. They have the unique capacity of being the glue that maintains the order within the chaos.  Men historically create the order, set the perimeter, protect the tribe, and provide the physical resources to grow and thrive. In the absence of men’s adoption of the warrior mindset, women have done what they do best, adapt. The growing need for women to protect themselves and their children, while men shirk this responsibility, drives the necessity of the warrior. Whether it is consciously or subconsciously, women see the need and begin to cultivate their own version of the warrior mindset.

Men no longer connect themselves with warriors. They see their only value as income generating puppets, obedient ‘nice guys’, and passive friends. They look on, frozen in apathy or fear, as the world falls into chaos and evil reigns. They are no longer guided by Honor or Principles, and, more often than not, relinquish their duty of protecting and providing to other men or government entities. This has to stop! We must teach our men what they are capable of and why.

The Warrior is not some historical hyperbole lost to the annals of a time long since past. It is a living and breathing evolution of man’s utility within a world where evil is a dark reality. Most see the word warrior and immediately look to violence, blood lust, and hate. The warrior is a protector, fighting for love not hate. The violence associated with the warrior is such a small detail in the greater scope of his purpose. Being capable of violence is the bedrock of being a protector, but beyond that the warrior is a mindset. One of grit, perseverance, resourcefulness, courage, honor, and strength.

A man that lives as a warrior in life, will have a life worth living. The warrior does not shy from adversity, he stands tall to face it. The warrior does not leave the protection of his tribe to another, he cultivates the strength and skills to protect them himself. The warrior lives with honor on a set of principles that he determines, giving him peace of mind. The warrior understands his role, he cultivates his destiny and lives according to his heart. When he does so, his tribe cannot help, but respect and follow.

My father once taught me, ‘it isn’t the action itself, but the principle of the matter”. It was a hard lesson learned, but once it stuck, I understood. If we don’t prioritize our principles all the time, especially in the little things, things that most people feel are inconsequential, then we won’t when it really matters. We won’t have the balls to have the conversation or even if we do have the conversation it won’t be received. In the little things, we set the precedence so that when big things arise, most people already know where they stand.

If you are watching the world as I have, it is becoming vividly apparent that the noble virtues that once guided men, such as strength, courage and honor are sorely missing. In today’s world ignoble concepts lay siege to the standards and concepts that were once hailed as stalwart and immovable. We watch as our fellow man, scheme and turn on their neighbors from a sycophantic hope that the masses will provide them with, that which they salvate for, a validating “atta’ boy”.

Having never been taught to stand on principle they have no standard of conduct to compare against. They see no issue with selling out a neighbor or compliance to absurd rules, as they do not see the ‘harm’ in it. This is where the danger lies. As the saying goes, “stand for something, or fall for anything.”

When we lack principles, we effectively become doormats. We have no baseline, no construct to retreat to when under attack. While passive and non-principled may avoid the majority of battles in our day to day. The detriment is in the war, not the battle. Over time we lose our bearing, with no heading or boundary, we will one day wake up and find ourselves feeling as though we are being taken advantage of, we are. In time, we will feel boxed in and in some cases literally and figuratively abused.

Principles are meant to guide our actions. Some are simple, but unyielding, such as “Do Not Murder” or “Do Not Lie”. Others are more nuanced, such as when to help someone or how we handle being disrespected. Either way without these guiding concepts we are effectively going on a trip without a map or destination. We will inevitably get lost.

I have a simple principle that guides most of my actions, “Do unto others, as you would have done unto you, until such time that they require a stern reminder of your principles.”

Simply put, it isn’t enough to treat people how we want to be treated. Sometimes, this is seen as passiveness or weakness. When this happens some people will try to take advantage of us, at that time it is equally important to course correct their actions and set the boundary in a way to ensure it is never crossed.